The Greatest Soul Calibur Parody There Ever Was!
by Dry Tortugas
Summary: No, really. Basically half the gang gets involved in a crazy soap opera scenario. Possibly the most random thing I've ever written. Give it a shot, you might like it. And if you don't like it, flame me! D Kinda long.


**The Greatest Soul Calibur Parody There Ever Was!!**

Yup, crap like this is what happens when I'm bored, am torn between favorite pairings, and stuck with nothing to occupy myself but my laptop. Heheh. I decided to keep the rating at T for the hell of it, since there's nothing obscene/explicit, just lots of swearing, misbehaving, and other fun stuff. Oh just read it, it's funny.

Incredibly random; Yunsung's brains and hormones are in an endless war throughout the thing. You'll figure it out when you read it. XD

* * *

18-year-old Yunsung was sitting on the couch of his friend Hwang's house, watching TV. As usual, there wasn't anything on, so he was watching the Weather Channel.

He heard a pounding on the door and yelled, "It's open!!" The door swung open and in came Mina, Hwang's girlfriend who also lived here. "Hey, Mina!"

Hwang didn't know, but Yunsung had a huge crush on Mina. Mina didn't know either.

"Hey, Yunsung!" Mina said cheerfully, tossing her gym bag in the corner and going into the kitchen. "What're you watching?"

"The weather," Yunsung complained. "Nothing's on!"

"I told Hwang we needed to get cable, but he won't pay for it and I'm not wasting my money," Mina said, coming back into the living room holding a water bottle and sitting down next to Yunsung on the couch. "Whew. I'm pooped."

"Good workout?" Yunsung asked, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of them. Mina shrugged and sat back against the edge of the couch, her legs open wide enough so Yunsung caught a glimpse of her panties.

"Aah! Mina!" he protested, and Mina rolled her eyes and sat up. "Sorry. Geez, Yunsung, sometimes I think you're gay or something."

"I'm not gay! I'm just trying not to look at you!" Yunsung whined. "Hwang'll kill me if he even thinks I'm looking at you!"

"Oh, relax. Hwang's not around, and besides, I, uh... I don't think he'll mind that much," Mina said, sounding uncomfortable.

"Huh? Why?" Yunsung asked, suprised. "I thought you and Hwang were- eep!"

Mina sat up and scooted over towards Yunsung. Yunsung blushed and made to move back a little, but Mina grabbed his arm firmly so he couldn't wiggle free. "Yunsung, I... I don't want you telling Hwang what I'm about to tell you, I'm not sure how true this is, but, uh... can you not repeat what I'm gonna say? Please?"

Yunsung nodded and sat up. "Course I won't, Mina. What's going on?"

Mina didn't reply for a second, and seemed to be trying to think of what to say. "Mina?" Yunsung asked.

Mina promptly began crying and promptly flung herself in Yunsung's arms. "Mina, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked, shocked. Never ever EVER had he seen Mina cry before!

Mina wiped her tears with her hands and said, miserably, "Hwang's cheating on me!"

"WHAT?" Yunsung gasped. "Hwang? No way!"

"Yes way! Yesterday at work I brought him his lunch, and when I got to his office this girl was leaving! I asked Hwang who she was, and he just denied she was there at all!" Mina whined pitifully. "And today when I tried calling him, his line was busy every time I called! I called fifteen times!!"

"Mina, I... I don't know what to say! Hwang's not the guy to run off with other women, is he?" Yunsung asked.

"I don't know!!" Mina wailed, pounding a pillow with her fists. "I don't know what to DO! How the hell should I do if my boyfriend's cheating on me!?"

This put Yunsung in a very awkward situation. On one hand, he was tempted to tell Mina to dump Hwang so he could win her heart and catch her on the rebound for himself, but Hwang was his best friend and Yunsung didn't want to screw things up with him. Besides, this was Hwang's house he was living in, and if he pissed Hwang off, he might get kicked out.

"I'm sorry for dumping all this on you, Yunsung," Mina sniffed, wiping her eyes with her hands. "I'm just mad... and confused... STUPID HWANG!! When he gets home I'm gonna wring his neck!!"

Yunsung thought for a second and remembered yesterday's episode of his favorite TV Drama, Days of Our Shards. Sophitia suspected that her husband Rothion was cheating on her with the man she was using to cheat on him, Siegfried, but she had no proof and stormed into Siegfried's house to accuse her lover of being gay with her husband, when she found him (Siegfried) in bed with her younger sister, Cassandra. The episode had ended with a big TO BE CONTINUED and Yunsung was sick of waiting for the conclusion.

"Look, Mina, this kind of stuff isn't my thing, but if Hwang really is cheating on you, I say you dump him," Yunsung said, deciding to stay with his "OMG if Mina dumps Hwang I get her for myself ROTFLOL" theory.

Mina sighed and folded her arms. "But if I do break up with Hwang, where the heck am I gonna live? I'm still in college, I can't afford an apartment!"

"Hey, I've got an idea. How about tonight when Hwang gets home I tell him about what a great girl you are, and how lucky he is to have you as a girlfriend? Y'know, make him realize how great you are and he'll forget about his other girlfriend!" Yunsung suggested.

"That's a GREAT idea!" Mina squealed. "Wow, Yunsung, all those soap operas you watch really pays off! Thanks a lot!" Before Yunsung could protest about the soap opera comment, Mina leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Woohoo! I can't wait for Hwang to get home, that two-timing man-skank!" She laughed and ran off, jumping and dancing around like a maniac.

Yunsung, on the other hand, was experiencing nirvana. Mina just kissed him. If he broke Hwang and Mina up, chances are Mina would be so heartbroken she'd turn to the best guy she knew, HIMSELF!! Heheheheh.

Of course, if Mina ever found out, she'd kill me, Yunsung thought. Plus, I don't have any money. Hwang's loaded. And he's my best friend. But heck, I've got no dignity. Push comes to shove I'll live under a bridge if it means I've got Mina for a girlfriend.

Alright, that does it. I'll find out if Hwang really is cheating on Mina, and if he is I'll tell Mina. She'll dump Hwang and I'll catch her on the rebound, Yunsung decided. And if he ISN'T cheating on her, and it's all just a big misunderstanding, I'll give up on Mina and never ever try to spy on her in the shower again.

Yunsung groaned. Either way, he'd end up screwing someone over.

* * *

Later, when Yunsung was watching Days of Our Shards, (Sophitia caught Siegfried and Cassandra having a wild time in Siegfried's bed, and decided to drown her sister in the Hepheastus Shrine fountain until Siegfried agreed to leave Cassandra and return to Sophitia, but Siegfried was now in love with Cassandra and couldn't bring himself to do it, therefore Cassandra left to die) the sound of Hwang's H3 pulling into the driveway caused Yunsung to quickly change the channel to ESPN, just as the two girls were squirming and writhing about in the fountain, while Siegfried debated with his evil half, Nightmare, about which woman he preferred.

"I'm home," Hwang said, coming in the door and tossing his jacket on the couch. "Hey, Yunsung, what's up? Watching Days of Our Shards again?"

"N-NO!" Yunsung lied, gesturing to the TV. "See!? I'm on ESPN!! Woo!! Swimsuit Sports Illustrated on sale!!" Although Yunsung did enjoy swimsuit models and sports, they didn't hold a candle to the Alexandra sisters. Woo.

"Uh huh. I pay the cable bill, Yunsung, I know what you're watching," Hwang laughed, untying his tie and dropping it on the couch. "We both know Mina doesn't watch soap operas."

"Long day?" Yunsung asked.

"You have no idea. Where's Mina?" Hwang asked.

"Uh, I think she's in her room," Yunsung said quickly. "Y'know, Hwang, you sure are lucky."

"Really? How so?" Hwang asked.

"Well, you've got this nice house. You've got ME, the best friend you could ever ask for, and you've got Mina. I mean, she's smart, funny, in love with you... hey, she's pretty too!" Yunsung said, not noticing any change of Hwang's expression.

"You've got a point there," Hwang grinned. "But nothing came from luck, Yunsung, I had to work my ass off to buy this condo, we met on a subway, and I met Mina... where DID I meet Mina? Hmmm... well, it doesn't matter now..."

"Why'd you say that?" Yunsung asked. "You're not cheating on her, are you?"

Hwang's eyebrows shot up. "Cheating? Keep your voice down! We don't want anyone to get suspicious," he said, hitting Yunsung's shoulder playfully. "Here's five bucks. Pretend I didn't say anything."

"Five bucks? You expect me to violate Mina's trust for five bucks?" Yunsung gasped, then remembered he was absolutely poor and had no money. "Give me twenty and mum's the word."

"You got it."

* * *

Yunsung barely made it down the hall without Mina rushing up to him and nearly causing him to topple over. "So? What'd he say? Is he cheating on me?" she whispered, shaking him.

"Mina, this isn't easy for me to say, but-- it's looking pretty bad," Yunsung finally admitted.

Mina stared at him in horror. "Is there any proof?" she finally squeaked.

"No, not yet, but he's acting suspicious. But before you freak out and kill him, give him some time to--" Yunsung's eyes widened in shock as Mina pressed her lips to his, just as Hwang walked into the room.

"MINA!? YUNSUNG!? WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?" Hwang gasped, looking shocked.

"It's all my fault, I told Mina I'd never kissed a girl before!" Yunsung lied, although he truthfully hadn't ever kissed a girl before and was slightly breathless from having one of his many post-puberty Mina fantasies come true.

Mina just stuck her tongue out at Hwang and left the room, swinging her hips as she did.

Hwang turned to Yunsung, murder in his eyes. "WHAT... DO YOU THINK... YOU'RE DOING!?" he hissed, his desire to choke the life out of Yunsung written all over his face.

Thanks a lot, Mina! Kiss me and leave me here for Hwang to murder me! Yunsung thought, terrified. "Hwang, I'm so sorry! I swear, I don't know what happened! Mina's just so beautiful, and... and... oh, Hwang, please forgive me!" He broke down into hysterical tears, flinging himself into Hwang's arms, sobbing and wailing about betrayal and how he was an awful friend.

Hwang resisted the urge to roll his eyes with great difficulty, and sighed. Yunsung only cried when he felt awful about something, or Days of Our Shards was cancelled, so he was obviously sorry. "Oh, alright," Hwang sighed, and patted Yunsung's back comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Yunsung. I didn't mean to get so angry. I forgot your hormones are probably going crazy. Just stop crying, alright?"

"OK," Yunsung whimpered, wiping his eyes. Hwang put his arm around the younger man's shoulders and led him into the living room. "Alright, sit down and watch your show. If anything," Hwang said, glancing over his shoulder, "I'm glad Mina seems to be adapting to you so well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yunsung asked.

"It means," Hwang said, glancing over his shoulder once more, "It means, here's another twenty bucks."

Yunsung stared at the crisp $20 in his hand, almost unable to believe his luck. He'd just kissed Mina, gotten away with it, and earned a free 40 bucks for doing absolutely nothing.

Well, he did feel bad about lying... hmm...

* * *

Hwang sighed and approached his girlfriend's door. Mina only stayed in her own room when she was angry; otherwise, she was always hanging around the house doing something.

He didn't buy Yunsung's lousy explanation for a second, nor did he buy the fake crying act. Yunsung obviously made a pass at Mina, and it was a damn good thing he walked in and put an end to it.

"Mina, we need to talk," Hwang said, knocking on the door.

"Who's there?" Mina demanded.

"Your boyfriend," Hwang scowled. "Or should I say, the boyfriend who ISN'T Yunsung. Let me in."

"Fuck off, Hwang," Mina snapped.

"God dammit, Mina, quit acting like a child. You'd better open this door or I'm breaking it down," Hwang threatened.

"Oh, please. You sound like my dad," Mina scoffed.

"You know, Mina, I'm making a lot of money, but I'd be making a lot more if I threw you out on your ass, if you get my drift," Hwang said, rolling his eyes.

Mina angrily threw the door open. "What do you want?" she growled.

"Mina, I want to know the truth. Why in the name of God were you and Yunsung lip wrestling in the hallway? And why the hell did Yunsung make up that bullshit story?"

Mina rolled her eyes. "Wake up, Hwang. If you really think I'm that dumb that I don't get what's going on with you and me, then maybe we really do have nothing in common anymore."

"What the hell are you talking about, Mina? The only problem between you and me is the fact that I caught you with your tongue inside Yunsung's mouth," Hwang snapped. "I mean, come on! Yunsung? Is that the best you can do?"

"I'll have you know Yunsung's been one hell of a lot nicer to me than you have lately," Mina snarled. "And what do you know? Maybe I will dump you for Yunsung. I know he'd never cheat on me!"

"Oh really? Is Yunsung going to take care of you? He's seventeen, Mina, he's not even LEGAL!! You're out of your mind and out of my house if you're serious about this," Hwang growled, trying to keep his patience.

"How much longer are you going to play the part of the sissy boyfriend? I know you're cheating on me! I've got proof and everything!" Mina snapped, folding her arms.

"Oh, really? What proof? Did Yunsung tell you that? Ever think he's trying to drive us apart?" Hwang snapped.

"Yunsung told me you gave him twenty dollars to keep his mouth shut about you acting suspicious. I'm not an idiot, Hwang, I can put two and two together!" Mina hollered.

"When did Yunsung tell you THAT? Before or after you shoved your tongue down his throat?" Hwang scoffed, although made a mental note to get that $40 back. Lying little bastard.

"Hwang, I'm going to speak in the language you best understand. You're a selfish, arrogant DICK and I don't even know what the hell I ever SAW IN YOU!!" Mina screamed. "If you're seeing some skank behind my back, THEN AT LEAST HAVE THE FRIGGEN NERVE TO TELL ME YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ME ANYMORE!!"

"I never said I was seeing someone else! You're just being annoying!" Hwang growled. "Mina, you are overreacting. Quit acting like a child and calm down or we'll never work anything out."

"Work WHAT out?" Mina screamed. "You know what, Hwang? I did kiss Yunsung! And I don't regret it at all! And you know what? The next time I see him, I'M GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!"

"OH NO YOU'RE NOT!!" Hwang screamed, grabbed Mina, and kissed her. Mina hesitated in shock and guilt before returning his passionate kiss. She lost control of herself, running her fingers through his hair as he held her tightly in his strong arms.

"Mina, can we just talk?" Hwang asked, holding his girlfriend close. "I know I've done some things wrong, but I still care about you, and--"

"We just did talk, Hwang," Mina sighed. And with that, she shoved Hwang out of her room, locked the door, threw herself onto her bed and started bawling her eyes out, wondering where she went wrong in her life.

I'm starting to sound like that girl from Days of Our Shards, Mina thought with a sob.

* * *

Hwang scowled and stormed down to the kitchen. He got a beer out of the fridge, sitting down and thinking about his girlfriend. What was WITH her lately? He needed to be a bit more careful, or she'd figure out exactly what the hell he was up to.

Women were confusing. I should have been gay, Hwang mused. Gay people have it easy, don't they?

Hwang sighed, remembering the Yunsung problem. Although it was quite obvious who wore the pants in the relationship between Yunsung's hormones and Yunsung's common sense, Hwang was finding it quite hard to believe Yunsung would kiss another guy's girlfriend, particularly the guy whose house he was living in. Even if he had no dignity or self-respect, Yunsung would never do anything to endanger his own ass. When it was his head in the crosshair, he'd sell his own mother out to save his sorry hide.

Why'd he squeal to Mina? Hwang wondered. Forty bucks is forty bucks. Kids Yunsung's age would keep quiet about a serial killer if they get forty bucks for it.

* * *

Mina sighed and wiped her eyes, glaring over at the alarm clock on her nighttable. 6:03 PM. She'd been in here for almost an hour and a half.

She mentally ran over the giant list of problems going on with her and sighed. I can't believe this. Hwang's cheating on me. And now I've roped poor Yunsung into all this. Hwang's never gonna trust him again and it's all my fault.

Wonder what he's doing right now, Mina thought. Probably all freaked out because I kissed him so unexpectedly like that... she remembered the look on Yunsung's face when she sat up on the couch and he caught a glimpse of her underwear, how quickly he looked away.

This is all my fault, and now Yunsung's probably going to hate me too... maybe I should just get out of here. I could always move back in with Daddy. Life was so much easier before I moved in here.

She heard the sound of Hwang's tires crunching against the gravel driveway, and looked out the window. Apparently he had left, and Mina didn't care where he was going. Stupid jerk.

Jumping off her bed, decided she might as well do something productive to pass the time. She went into Hwang's room to see if she could find anything to prove the existence of his other girlfriend, and gasped in horror, hearing the front door swing open.

"Mina? You still here?"

Mina let out a sigh of relief. It was just Yunsung. "I'm in here," she called.

"Huh? Why're you in here?" Yunsung asked, his spiky head popping through the doorway. "Is Hwang around?"

Mina shook her head and scowled, sitting on the edge of her bed. "Of course not. We had another fight. I'm sorry I kissed you like that, Yunsung. I was just so mad at Hwang, I--"

Yunsung cut her off. "Mina, it's OK," he said, and grinned. "Y'know, I really wasn't lying. I haven't kissed a girl before."

Great. So that was his first kiss, too, Mina sighed. "Well, something else for me to feel guilty about. I'm really sorry, Yunsung, I hope you don't think I'm some cheap ho or something--"

"Mina, it's OK," Yunsung repeated. "Seriously. It was just a kiss. Nothing bad."

"I'm glad you're not freaked out," Mina said, sighing in relief. She glanced around. "Are we alone?"

"Yup. At least 'til Hwang gets back," Yunsung replied. "I dunno where he went though... you think he's serious about kicking us out?" He looked worried.

Great. So Hwang's going to kick him out, too, Mina thought. She smiled and put her hand over Yunsung's. "Don't worry, Yunsung, if Hwang kicks us out, you can stay with me and my Dad. I guarantee you he won't mind."

"Hope not," Yunsung said. "Mina, I'm sorry about all this. I feel like it's my fault."

"It's not," Mina assured him, then realized something she never realized before. For a seventeen-year-old, Yunsung was a very attractive young man. Very attractive.

No, Mina, no! Stop thinking about him like that! she ordered herself. She grinned up at the younger boy, trying to do something to fill the awkward silence. "Wanna get something to eat? I'm starved," she suggested.

Well, this was a good sign. Yunsung grinned to himself. "Sure, where do you wanna go? Let's go to Olive Garden, I could go for some Italian food," he said.

"Olive Garden? I don't have that kind of money!" Mina whined.

"Me either. That's why we're gonna leave once they serve the bread," Yunsung said, remembering his wallet was completely empty and Hwang took the $40 back.

"Really? Awesome! I'm gonna get changed," Mina said, and grinned. "Yunsung, sometimes you're the greatest. You know that?"

Yunsung grinned back. "Yeah I am. Alright, hurry up, I'm STARVED!!"

Mina laughed and shut the door, changing into a halter top and jeans.

Hopefully stupid Hwang went to a hotel and would be gone for the night. Or maybe he'd get into a car accident. Not die, of course; but be injured and have to stay hospitalized. She decided not to get her hopes up too high.

* * *

The two got to the Olive Garden with no trouble at all and were directed to a nice 2-person table. The waitress, an annoying blonde by the name of Setsuka, left them with a big bowl of breadsticks.

"Let me know if you need ANYTHING else," she said, her hand on Yunsung's arm, "don't hesistate to ask. It's no problem." She gave Yunsung's arm a suggestive little squeeze and sauntered off.

Mina scowled and bit savagely into a breadstick. "Stupid floozy," she complained. "That's probably the kind of girl Hwang wants to date anyway."

"Aw, c'mon," Yunsung said, ordering himself to keep his extreme bias towards Mina out of the conversation. "You two are just having a rough spot. Hwang wouldn't be dating you if he didn't like you, right?"

"I guess," Mina huffed. "But he's never ONCE told me he loves me. He doesn't even show any emotion. Here I am, a gal with a kickin' bod, and Hwang hasn't even ONCE said ANYTHING about sex. This is INSANE! I'm nineteen years old! I don't have to waste the best years of my life on that turd!"

Yunsung felt oddly uncomfortable and decided to eat. "Yum. Good food," he said.

_Hey, if Mina feels that cold and neglected, maybe her good buddy Yunsung'll help her out_, his hormones said.

_No, no, no, _Yunsung's brain said. _Hwang is a good friend of Yunsung's and Yunsung knows better than to betray a friend. Doesn't he? He already feels guilty about kissing Mina like that._

_Oh, please. Yunsung knows a free ride when he sees one. A hot girl rams her tongue down your throat, and dammit, you give it back, _Hormones replied.

_You are disgusting. It pains me to see how much control you have over that poor boy's decision. I've been with Yunsung for thirteen years before you came along and decided to run things your own way, you cheap bastard,_ Brain scoffed.

_Mina's practically on the breaking point. One night with the king and she'll forget all about ol' whats-his-name Kyung, _hormones argued. _Look at her! She's walking sex appeal!_

_I'm hungry! FEED ME!_ Yunsung's stomach interrupted.

Mina made a face and ate another breadstick gingerly. "Mm-hmm. Hey, it's not illegal to leave without paying, is it?"

"Naw. They give the bread free. I think," Yunsung said. "OK, I dunno."

Mina smiled a little. "Yunsung, while we're here, would you do me a favor?"

_Here we go, _Hormones cackled. _Yunsung, my boy, I hope you're ready. Tonight, boy, you become a MAN!!_

_You are despicable!! It's like you're trying to corrupt the poor boy!! It's bad enough he dropped out of high school! _Brains hollered.

_Small Intestine convinced him to get his GED!! He'll survive!!_ Hormones scowled.

Yunsung gulped, a piece of breadstick lodged in his throat. "Umm, sure, Mina," he said, swallowing.

"Tell me about Days of Our Shards. I watched the episode on today and I got totally lost," Mina sighed. It was so much easier to worry about someone else's romantic problems than her own, so why not drown herself in the self-induced misery of other people?

"Sure, of course. Alright, Sophitia's married to Rothion. Siegfried lives next door, and Cassandra, Sophitia's younger sister, is living with Sophitia and Rothion. But Cassandra is in love with Siegfried, who is in love with Sophitia, who is trapped in her dead-end marriage to her husband. So she has a scandalous affair with Siegfried, who admits to Cassandra that they're sleeping together, and Cassandra, in her rage, runs to Rothion. Rothion goes to confession and admits he's cheating on his wife with his sister-in-law, and admits that he's really gay, and decides as revenge on both of those Alexandra girls he's going to rape Siegfried. Siegfried isn't too thrilled about that, and tries to escape, but Cassandra promises that she'll take care of Rothion and his urges if Siegfried agrees to forget about Sophitia and sleep with her instead. Siegfried agrees. Season 1 is concluded," Yunsung finished.

"And I thought I had it bad," Mina chuckled. "Thanks, Yunsung. I needed to hear that."

"No problem, Mina," Yunsung said, and looked up. "Uh oh, here comes the waiter."

"Don't encourage her. She'll never leave." Mina grumbled.

"Umm, OK," Yunsung said. The waitress came over again, grinning like an idiot.

"Can I take your order?" she asked.

"Uh, no thanks. We just want bread," Yunsung said.

"Aren't you a strange one," the waitress said, and ran her hand down Yunsung's back. "Well, let me know if you change your mind, sweetie." She grinned and left, sticking her tongue out at Mina mockingly.

Mina sat down furiously, and ripped her teeth into another breadstick. "I swear, that girl's asking to get her ass kicked--"

"Hey, it's Hwang!" Yunsung said, watching him enter the restaurant.

Mina jumped under the table and pulled Yunsung down with her. "Shh!" she hissed. "He might be meeting someone here!!"

"Like who, Mi? He's probably just- uh oh, girl alert! Girl alert!" Yunsung gaped in horror as the waitress from before nearly broke her leg running over to Hwang. Mina's fingernails were digging into his hand so hard Yunsung thought she would break the skin, which meant she was pissed. Big time.

They watched in silence as Hwang and the blonde talked, Hwang saying something that apparently the blonde found hilarious. They both laughed, Hwang checked his watch and said something, and the blonde nodded and leaned over and planted a kiss on Hwang's cheek. Hwang grinned and left, a happy spring in his step.

Yunsung was almost afraid to see Mina's reaction, but turned to look at her anyway. "Mina? You OK?" he whispered, deathly afraid she'd turn around and strangle him.

Mina looked back at him and shook her head. Yunsung caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes before she let out a sob and collapsed into his arms, her shoulders shaking.

Yunsung wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, half of him wanting to go outside to the parking lot and kick Hwang's ass.

_WHOA! TOUCHDOWN! First base, second base, hit a home run!_ Hormones was screaming.

_You're confusing football with baseball, dumbass,_ Brain replied.

_She's all over me! If this isn't begging for some Yunsung action I don't know what IS! _Hormones argued.

_Mina is in an unstable emotional state of mind. Yunsung would never take advantage of her while she's so fragile and upset,_ Brain reasoned.

_Pfft. Says you, Poindexter. When it comes to Yunsung I own you every single time, _Hormones chuckled.

_Well, unfortunately for you, bitchface, you can't say anything unless I allow you to. So you're owned now,_ Brain cackled.

_I'm still hungry! MORE FOOD!! _Stomach wailed.

_Shut up, you filthy bastard, she's speaking again!_ Brain hissed.

"I can't believe this," Mina whimpered, burrowing her face into Yunsung's chest. "I can't believe it... Hwang's really cheating on me... that stupid bastard!! I should have known! What am I gonna do?"

"Mina..." Yunsung said softly, rubbing her back. "C'mon... it'll be OK..."

_That's our boy! Soft and sensitive, just like he should be!_ Brain said. _Ha! In your face!_

_Oh, please. Sweet talking is like the indirect approach to get in the pants, _Hormones scoffed. _Just watch._

_I'd love to do my job here, but you two don't shut up for a minute,_ scoffed Left Eye.

_Yeah! What he said!_ Right Eye echoed.

"You bet it'll be OK!" Mina said angrily, standing up and forgetting they were crouching under a table. "Ow! C'mon, we're going home!"

"Home? Mi, are you sure? What if Hwang's around?" Yunsung asked.

"I don't CARE if he is! Come on, you drive, I'm too upset," Mina sighed. Yunsung nodded and helped her up, making sure to avoid the table.

"And don't you DARE tip our waitress!" Mina said, enraged.

Yunsung quickly took her by her hand and led her out the door before any Olive Garden employees caught them and dragged them to jail for not paying.

* * *

Upon their arrival at Hwang's house, Yunsung was relieved to see Hwang was once again not home. Most likely that meant he was off with his girlfriend, but Yunsung decided anyone who would cheat on Mina didn't deserve her anyway.

"Are you OK, Mina? You haven't said anything since the restaurant," Yunsung said.

"You'd be upset if you lost the man you loved to some idiot, too," Mina sniffed, and wiped her eyes again.

_Oh, dear. This sounds awfully serious,_Brain said.

_Exactly why Mina deserves a nice hot nightful of Yunsung lovin'. That'll get her back on track and rarin' for more, _Hormones, assured of his victory, cackled.

_Fuck off, Hormones. Yunsung knows what he's doing, _Brain scoffed, and rolled Yunsung's eyes.

_AAAAH!! Make it stop!! _Right and Left Eye screamed in unison.

"Yeah, well, I've got an idea of how to get him back," Mina giggled, and took Yunsung's hand in hers once more, leading him off to Hwang's room. "If he's going to cheat on me, I'm going to cheat on him. With you. In his own BEDROOM." She giggled and ran off, leaving a horrified/ecstatic Yunsung alone.

_OH. MAH. GAWD. In your face, you pompous freak! I'm taking over tonight! _Hormones cheered.

_Yunsung won't go through with it! Why, he's not even married yet! He's still 17! This isn't even legal!_ Brain wailed, officially spazzing out. _I control 87 of the body, I'm still in control!_

_Ha! But too bad for you, because the only part of the body __**I**__ control are the only parts Yunsung's gonna be needing tonight! BWAHAHA! I WIN, I WIN!! _Hormones cackled.

Yunsung decided to go take a shower. Aside from the fact that he was now becoming slightly terrified at Mina's proposal, he had a terrible headache... maybe a nice hot shower would help him clear up...

* * *

Mina, on the other hand, had much more evil plans in mind. She would call Hwang, tell him she was sorry and beg him to come back home, then let him catch her and Yunsung in the act. Or at least pretending to. She figured Yunsung had better things to do with his life than sleep with her, so she figured she'd beg him to help her out here. Just sleeping in the same bed would work...

* * *

Yunsung groaned and let the hot shower water run over his naked flesh. He really, really, REALLY was looking forward to Mina's evil plan- especially since a part of him seemed to be dancing around inside his head- but he still felt a nagging, guilty feeling hanging over his head.

Hwang was his best friend. And if he did comply with what Mina had in mind, there wouldn't be any love, she'd just be using him to piss Hwang off. And if/when it worked, and Hwang caught Mina and Yunsung in his bed, doing bad things, Hwang's heart would be broken, and he'd throw Yunsung out the door on his ear. Mina would be too upset about the loss of Hwang to give a crap about her younger friend, and most likely never talk to him again.

Why me? Yunsung sighed. He didn't know WHAT to do; either way, Hwang would hate him forever. Might as well get what I can out of this... even if I am being used...

* * *

Mina was sitting on Hwang's bed, still wearing the clothes she wore to the restaurant, waiting for Yunsung to get out of the bathroom. Honestly speaking, she felt terrible and was considering just spending the night in the same bed together; it would piss Hwang off, and neither would defile themselves. Everybody won.

Yunsung entered a few minutes later, towel-drying his damp hair, dressed in a wife beater and boxers. Mina couldn't help but stare at him, tracing his well toned muscles with her eyes. No wonder he never has money, he must spend all his money at the gym, she thought.

She thought for a second and came to a startling conclusion. She was nineteen. Hwang had just turned twenty-six a month ago. Yunsung, however, was seventeen, turning eighteen in three weeks.

So if Hwang was so horrified that Mina kissed someone two years younger than herself, all this time he himself had been kissing a girl seven years younger than himself. Hmm.

"Mina, are you OK?" Yunsung asked again, looking at her with concern in his eyes. He has incredible eyes, Mina realized, they're so warm and inviting, just like him. I can tell he cares about me just by looking at him... oh, my lord, what am I going to do?

Mina knew what she had to do. "Yunsung, c'mere," she mumbled, and scooted over, giving Yunsung a place to sit down. He hesitated for a minute, then sat down.

"Yunsung, I know you're not angry about me kissing you like that... but-- don't interrupt me," she said, noticing Yunsung about to speak. "I can't come between you and Hwang's friendship. Every time I manipulate you to get on Hwang's nerves, he loses trust in you. And I don't want that to happen. I--" Mina was interrupted by Yunsung kissing her.

Mina was taken aback at first, and pulled away from him rather quickly. She stared up at him for a moment, out of breath. Yunsung's warm brown eyes shot through her, causing her whole body to heat up and her inner temptation to flare up. There was absolutely no regret showing in his eyes. And there was none in her eyes either.

In less than a second, Mina lunged herself back at him, holding the young man as close as she could as her lips met his hot mouth. Her hands traveled across his muscular chest, and his larger hands found his way to her waist. Mina moaned against his lips and kissed him harder, her tongue escaping from her mouth and venturing into Yunsung's open one.

Yunsung pulled away from Mina with a gasp, his entire body feeling like it was on fire. Mina's attack had knocked him onto his back, and Mina was on top of him, looking both shocked and happy.

"Oh my god," was all Mina could gasp out.

If Yunsung remembered how to speak, that would probably be all he could say. Mina lifted her head up a bit, and Yunsung couldn't take it any more. He sat up, with Mina slipping off his lap onto the other side of Hwang's bed. Mina was still trying to catch her breath. Yunsung waited until she inhaled, then leaned over once more.

Mina gasped happily, feeling Yunsung's lips against her own once more. Yunsung kissed her lips with force and vigor, sliding his mouth against hers, feeling her breath inside his mouth. Mina ran her fingers through Yunsung's messy, spiky red hair, deepening the kiss as she did so, and Yunsung moaned as he felt Mina's hands go crazy on his body, touching his back, his chest, his arms, anything above belt she could get her hands on.

Mina had to push him away, for just a second, to catch her breath, and then she pulled him even closer again, his body still against her, his lips finding hers once more. Mina wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, deepening the already scorching kiss, as he messily pushed his tongue into her mouth. Mina happily pulled them both down onto Hwang's bed again, as they continued making out.

And meanwhile, as the action took place, a laughing Hwang Sung-Kyung, with an annoying blonde woman wearing a button with the the words "Hi, I'm Setsuka" written on it, entered the room.

Yunsung and Mina were barely concious at this time, so lost in their passion they had forgotten to breathe, therefore didn't even notice the door opening.

"Y'know, Setsuka, I-- AAAGGHH!!" Hwang screamed.

Mina's eyes opened wide and she clenched her teeth in her rage, forgetting Yunsung's tongue was in between her two rows of white teeth, much to the agony of her partner.

"OWW!" Yunsung wailed, and with a sound that closely resembled that of a plunger being removed from a wet toilet, the two seperated. Mina grunted and rolled off the side of the bed, leaving Yunsung and his bleeding tongue on the bed.

"Oh, hi, Hwang. AAAGGHH!!" Yunsung screamed.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?" Hwang screamed, his entire face reddening with his rage. "I BRING MY SISTER HOME FOR DINNER AND I FIND YOU TWO FUCKING ON MY BED!?!?"

"Hey! Pants on!" Yunsung protested, although he knew very well if Hwang hadn't come in, their unholy passion most likely wouldn't have ended with another round of tongue hockey.

"WHERE THE HELL DID MINA GO!?" Hwang demanded.

"Right here," Mina groaned, and got up on the bed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?" Hwang asked, unable to scream any more due to the horrifying mental images of his beautiful girlfriend making out with a seventeen-year-old burning into his brain.

"Oh, please! Like you weren't gonna do the same thing with this bimbo!" Mina scoffed, sitting up. "For your information Yunsung blows you out of the water when it comes to romance, buddy! I haven't felt this turned on since-- I've never felt this turned on, actually!"

Although Yunsung had to admit, it pleased him to no end to hear Mina praising his natural abilities so highly, he did feel a little guilty.

"Mina, I don't think you understand here. THIS WOMAN IS NOT MY LOVER!! SHE IS MY SISTER!!" Hwang screamed, gesturing to the woman, standing in the room, blankly watching everything that was going on.

Mina's entire face fell. "She's WHAT!?"

So did Yunsung's. "Uh oh."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!! I WAS BRINGING MY SISTER BY AS A SUPRISE!! AND I COME HOME AND YOU'RE TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM SCREWING YUNSUNG!! AT LEAST HE HAS THE COMMON SENSE TO LOOK GUILTY!!" Hwang hollered, now jumping up and down in his rage.

"Hwang, chill out! Remember your blood pressure!" Setsuka said, putting her hand on her brother-- not boyfriend--'s shoulder. She glared at Mina and Yunsung, who were both eying each other with "Let's make out some more!!" expressions.

"I WILL NOT CHILL OUT!! NOT UNTIL MY TRAITOR EX-GIRLFRIEND AND EX-FRIEND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY--" Hwang suddenly gasped for air, unable to breathe any longer due to his arteries constricting due to screaming.

"OHH NOO!! HWANG!!" Setsuka shrieked, and pointed a manicured finger at Yunsung and Mina. "YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!! YOU LITTLE--" She was interrupted with another suction sound, as Yunsung's lips found their way back to Mina's, and they picked up where they left off.

"SET... SUKA... NEED... HELP..." Hwang gasped, but Setsuka was too lost in her misery and disgust (the way Yunsung and Mina were going at it, you would be too) to help her dying brother.

"HWAAANNG, NOOOO!! I'm NOT REALLY YOUR SISTER!! I LOVE YOU!!" Setsuka shrieked, and fell over, passed out from her horror.

Yunsung and Mina, on the other hand, were now trying to wrench each other's clothes off, completely oblivious to the world around them...

* * *

--CLICK!!--

"I can't take this anymore!!" growled Kilik, turning the TV off and rolling his eyes. "What a load of crap! Soap operas are only getting more and more ridiculous." Kilik had recently begun watching Koreans Gone Wild, because his girlfriend, Xianghua, recommended that he take some time to himself at night to just relax. She was starting to get quite insistent that he watch the show every single night, but he just couldn't take it anymore. How much abuse was that poor Hwang going to have to take??

Kilik yawned and trudged down the hallway to his bedroom, wondering how awful it must feel to be Hwang, and walk in on his best friend and his girlfriend-- "AAAGGHH!!" Kilik screamed, his face twisting in horror at what he saw. "XIANGHUA!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH... VOLDO!?"

"No!! Kilik!! It's not what you think!!" Xianghua squealed. "Maxi called in sick, I swear!!"

"So you're so desperate for love you turn to VOLDO!? Why not ME!? I'm your boyfriend!!" Kilik wailed, horrified. He could at least understand her cheating on him with Maxi, but VOLDO?? COME ON!!

"Shut up, Kilik!! You're hurting his feelings!!" Xianghua whined.

"Ssss!! Sssss!!" Voldo agreed, waving his creepy claw-things at Kilik in an obscene manner.

"I'm out of here," Kilik groaned. "I can't take any more of this!!"

* * *

If you're wondering WTF is up with the ending, I was originally gonna have Kilik catch Xianghua with Maxi, but decided that'd be way too predictable, so Voldo it was. XD

For the hell of it, this story supports: Yunsung/Mina, Hwang/Mina, Rothion/Sophitia, Siegfried/Sophitia, Rothion/Cassandra, Siegfried/Cassandra, Hwang/Setsuka, Kilik/Xianghua, Maxi/Xianghua, and Voldo/Xianghua. XD

So concludes this weird-ass thing. Oh yeah, flame me big, I want to see how bad they get. XD


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